Living in Laundry

When Killian was a month old I was a ball of anxiety worried about doing everything “right” even though I knew nothing was ever going to “right” again. I wanted to do everything myself and thought if I took someone up on their offer to help me (clean my house, hold him, feed him, calm him, etc.) it meant I was failing. The first month of Maverick being here I was worried all the worry’s I had with Killy would come flooding back. Lucky for me it’s been the opposite, I’ve loved most of every moment of being a mom of two. Don’t get me wrong it’s still hard, I still dread the nighttime, I still have anxiety about certain things (like going in public with the two kids by myself). But, the other stuff has gone away; I know he won’t break if someone else holds him, if you want to clean my house please come, if you want to rock him to sleep please do it, if I feel like I need help I will ask.  I wish I could’ve been the mother I am now to Killian when he was this old. I wish he coul